Dear ESPN, you’re ruining sports

by Zak Kertesz,
The Sports Complainer
written on 06/16/09

http://www.sportscomplainer.com

—-Plaxico Burress’ hearing is delayed. Donte’ Stallworth is sentenced to jail time. Ryan Leaf (Ryan Leaf?) is eluding the police. courtTV, right? Uh-uh. It’s the present day ESPN. (Note: courtTV is now truTV.)

When Bill Rasmussen, the creator of ESPN, developed the idea in 1978, was his idea to televise scofflaws or sports? I cannot state for certain, but I naturally assume the “S” stands for the latter.

ESPN calls themselves the leading destination for American convicts, I mean sports. So where’s the actual sports coverage?

Sports aficionados don’t want to see the amiss in sports. They “witness” (No LeBron, I’m not talking about you) society’s turmoil everyday when they get out of bed. They don’t need more bedlam and they certainly don’t want it either. They want stats. They want scores. They want actual sporting events.

We, as an aching nation, as a wounded world, want to see things like Michael Jordan’s game winner over Bryon Russell in the Finals. We want to see things like Kirk Gibson’s limp-off home run over Dennis Eckersley in the World Series. We want to see things like USA miraculously beating the Soviet’s in the 1980 Winter Olympics. (”Do you believe in miracles? Yes!” – Thanks Al Michaels)

We want to see things that make our body succumb to horripilation (goose bumps). The joyous feeling that begins in our thoughts but travels to our hearts; the feeling that makes our eyes water and our speech stutter. That’s why we watch sports. That’s why we love sports.

But what does ESPN give our nation, our world, instead? Scandals. Trials. Convictions. Imprisonments. All resulting in further defamation of our beloved sports.

Understandably, it’s a slow time for sports, the summer, it always is. And I accept the fact that news is news and more significantly, this news does involve athletes. Fine ESPN. Put it out there. Remind us of how atrocious our civilization is. But please, oh please, not under the bleeping headlines of your website and not under the bleeping LEAD of your television station.

Rather, install a section entitled: “we must make money” and place these journalistic necessities under such.

Dear worldwide leader in sports, if you insist in altering the “S” in ESPN from sports to scofflaws, then here are some revisions that may assist in further developing your new image:

Sportscenter to Convictcenter.

Jim Rome is Burning to Jim Rome is in the
Courthouse.

Around the Horn to Around the Federal Penitentiary.

Sounds pretty entertaining actually…but not, I repeat not, for a sports network.

Dude, head CEO man (I refuse to waste my efforts in researching your name or title), change it up.

At precisely 12:32 pm on Tuesday, June 16, 2009: ESPN offered courtTV-esque stories as five of its top six headlines (on their website). And the singular headline that differentiates itself from the rest: Brett Favre (but with all of his deception and betrayal, he fits the bill). At least your consistent, ESPN.

Shall we go through the headlines one by one? We shall: (Reminder: This is just in one day. ESPN perpetually does this.)

1. “Stallworth gets 30 days in jail in DUI fatality”

2. (The Lying Wrangler)

3. “Leaf faces Thursday deadline to turn himself in”

4. “NASCAR says Mayfield expert lied about degree”

5. “Phelps gets first endorsement since scandal”

6. “Burress hearing delayed to Sept. 23″

Get it? Got it? Good. Because I don’t get it.

Ryan Leaf? Really? My youngest brother’s JV summer basketball practices are more relevant.
At least he plays.

Poor Michael Phelps. ESPN, Do you really need to continue to bring the kid down? So, he smoked pot. George Washington used to grow fields upon fields of it.

Plaxico Burress shot himself. He shot himself. That should be on Comedy Central, not ESPN.

Indeed, as I previously confirmed, ESPN, the supposed worldwide leader in sports, does have the journalistic responsibility to entertain these topics. But not as main headlines.

Italy rallies to defeat U.S. by a score of 3-1 in the FIFA Confederations Cup; As New Jersey-born (traitor) Giuseppe Rossi scores two goals.

Manny Pacquiao (49-3) (the Philippine Elvis, who is singlehandedly bringing back the sport of boxing) is set to fight Miguel Cotto (34-1) (who is coming off a split-decision victory over Joshua Clottey (35-3)) on November 14 in Las Vegas.

Now those are headlines. True sports headlines.

And if those are not to your liking, ESPN, then provide MLB scores and MLS scores and NASCAR standings and Tennis rankings as your headlines.

Yes, ESPN does acknowledge such information, although assigns them to purgatory deeply within the confines of the cyber underworld; rather than accrediting them to, oh I don’t know, the headlines!

C’mon, ESPN? Don’t you have anyone, anyone within your staff who could figure all this out? Thanks to The Sports Complainer, you now know this.

People who watch ESPN are sports fans, not court fans. If they were, they’d tune in to Judge Judy.

And granted, some individuals do enjoy the drama, but that’s what E! is for.

ESPN and accompanying suits, you are ruining sports. Please, I’m asking you nicely to stop slaying what our world loves.

Our society watches sports to forget about the disorderly distress that life brings forth. To forget about the pink slips and the shrinking paychecks (economy). To forget about the right-wing crazies and the suicide bombers (terrorism). To forget about the continuously escalating fuel prices (energy crisis). To forget about the insane world leaders with powerful toys (nuclear threats). They tune in to clear their minds of such pandemonium, not to convolute their minds with more brouhaha, especially irrelevant brouhaha.

Open your eyes ESPN, realize this. Realize that this society follows sports with their hearts, with their souls, with an expectation that sports will make them feel better about the world around them. And ESPN, you’re ruining that. You really are.

Dear ESPN, you’re ruining sports

by Zak Kertesz,
The Sports Complainer
written on 06/16/09

http://www.sportscomplainer.com

—-Plaxico Burress’ hearing is delayed. Donte’ Stallworth is sentenced to jail time. Ryan Leaf (Ryan Leaf?) is eluding the police. courtTV, right? Uh-uh. It’s the present day ESPN. (Note: courtTV is now truTV.)

When Bill Rasmussen, the creator of ESPN, developed the idea in 1978, was his idea to televise scofflaws or sports? I cannot state for certain, but I naturally assume the “S” stands for the latter.

ESPN calls themselves the leading destination for American convicts, I mean sports. So where’s the actual sports coverage?

Sports aficionados don’t want to see the amiss in sports. They “witness” (No LeBron, I’m not talking about you) society’s turmoil everyday when they get out of bed. They don’t need more bedlam and they certainly don’t want it either. They want stats. They want scores. They want actual sporting events.

We, as an aching nation, as a wounded world, want to see things like Michael Jordan’s game winner over Bryon Russell in the Finals. We want to see things like Kirk Gibson’s limp-off home run over Dennis Eckersley in the World Series. We want to see things like USA miraculously beating the Soviet’s in the 1980 Winter Olympics. (”Do you believe in miracles? Yes!” – Thanks Al Michaels)

We want to see things that make our body succumb to horripilation (goose bumps). The joyous feeling that begins in our thoughts but travels to our hearts; the feeling that makes our eyes water and our speech stutter. That’s why we watch sports. That’s why we love sports.

But what does ESPN give our nation, our world, instead? Scandals. Trials. Convictions. Imprisonments. All resulting in further defamation of our beloved sports.

Understandably, it’s a slow time for sports, the summer, it always is. And I accept the fact that news is news and more significantly, this news does involve athletes. Fine ESPN. Put it out there. Remind us of how atrocious our civilization is. But please, oh please, not under the bleeping headlines of your website and not under the bleeping LEAD of your television station.

Rather, install a section entitled: “we must make money” and place these journalistic necessities under such.

Dear worldwide leader in sports, if you insist in altering the “S” in ESPN from sports to scofflaws, then here are some revisions that may assist in further developing your new image:

Sportscenter to Convictcenter.

Jim Rome is Burning to Jim Rome is in the
Courthouse.

Around the Horn to Around the Federal Penitentiary.

Sounds pretty entertaining actually…but not, I repeat not, for a sports network.

Dude, head CEO man (I refuse to waste my efforts in researching your name or title), change it up.

At precisely 12:32 pm on Tuesday, June 16, 2009: ESPN offered courtTV-esque stories as five of its top six headlines (on their website). And the singular headline that differentiates itself from the rest: Brett Favre (but with all of his deception and betrayal, he fits the bill). At least your consistent, ESPN.

Shall we go through the headlines one by one? We shall: (Reminder: This is just in one day. ESPN perpetually does this.)

1. “Stallworth gets 30 days in jail in DUI fatality”

2. (The Lying Wrangler)

3. “Leaf faces Thursday deadline to turn himself in”

4. “NASCAR says Mayfield expert lied about degree”

5. “Phelps gets first endorsement since scandal”

6. “Burress hearing delayed to Sept. 23″

Get it? Got it? Good. Because I don’t get it.

Ryan Leaf? Really? My youngest brother’s JV summer basketball practices are more relevant.
At least he plays.

Poor Michael Phelps. ESPN, Do you really need to continue to bring the kid down? So, he smoked pot. George Washington used to grow fields upon fields of it.

Plaxico Burress shot himself. He shot himself. That should be on Comedy Central, not ESPN.

Indeed, as I previously confirmed, ESPN, the supposed worldwide leader in sports, does have the journalistic responsibility to entertain these topics. But not as main headlines.

Italy rallies to defeat U.S. by a score of 3-1 in the FIFA Confederations Cup; As New Jersey-born (traitor) Giuseppe Rossi scores two goals.

Manny Pacquiao (49-3) (the Philippine Elvis, who is singlehandedly bringing back the sport of boxing) is set to fight Miguel Cotto (34-1) (who is coming off a split-decision victory over Joshua Clottey (35-3)) on November 14 in Las Vegas.

Now those are headlines. True sports headlines.

And if those are not to your liking, ESPN, then provide MLB scores and MLS scores and NASCAR standings and Tennis rankings as your headlines.

Yes, ESPN does acknowledge such information, although assigns them to purgatory deeply within the confines of the cyber underworld; rather than accrediting them to, oh I don’t know, the headlines!

C’mon, ESPN? Don’t you have anyone, anyone within your staff who could figure all this out? Thanks to The Sports Complainer, you now know this.

People who watch ESPN are sports fans, not court fans. If they were, they’d tune in to Judge Judy.

And granted, some individuals do enjoy the drama, but that’s what E! is for.

ESPN and accompanying suits, you are ruining sports. Please, I’m asking you nicely to stop slaying what our world loves.

Our society watches sports to forget about the disorderly distress that life brings forth. To forget about the pink slips and the shrinking paychecks (economy). To forget about the right-wing crazies and the suicide bombers (terrorism). To forget about the continuously escalating fuel prices (energy crisis). To forget about the insane world leaders with powerful toys (nuclear threats). They tune in to clear their minds of such pandemonium, not to convolute their minds with more brouhaha, especially irrelevant brouhaha.

Open your eyes ESPN, realize this. Realize that this society follows sports with their hearts, with their souls, with an expectation that sports will make them feel better about the world around them. And ESPN, you’re ruining that. You really are.

Dear ESPN, you’re ruining sports

by Zak Kertesz,
The Sports Complainer
written on 06/16/09

http://www.sportscomplainer.com

—-Plaxico Burress’ hearing is delayed. Donte’ Stallworth is sentenced to jail time. Ryan Leaf (Ryan Leaf?) is eluding the police. courtTV, right? Uh-uh. It’s the present day ESPN. (Note: courtTV is now truTV.)

When Bill Rasmussen, the creator of ESPN, developed the idea in 1978, was his idea to televise scofflaws or sports? I cannot state for certain, but I naturally assume the “S” stands for the latter.

ESPN calls themselves the leading destination for American convicts, I mean sports. So where’s the actual sports coverage?

Sports aficionados don’t want to see the amiss in sports. They “witness” (No LeBron, I’m not talking about you) society’s turmoil everyday when they get out of bed. They don’t need more bedlam and they certainly don’t want it either. They want stats. They want scores. They want actual sporting events.

We, as an aching nation, as a wounded world, want to see things like Michael Jordan’s game winner over Bryon Russell in the Finals. We want to see things like Kirk Gibson’s limp-off home run over Dennis Eckersley in the World Series. We want to see things like USA miraculously beating the Soviet’s in the 1980 Winter Olympics. (”Do you believe in miracles? Yes!” – Thanks Al Michaels)

We want to see things that make our body succumb to horripilation (goose bumps). The joyous feeling that begins in our thoughts but travels to our hearts; the feeling that makes our eyes water and our speech stutter. That’s why we watch sports. That’s why we love sports.

But what does ESPN give our nation, our world, instead? Scandals. Trials. Convictions. Imprisonments. All resulting in further defamation of our beloved sports.

Understandably, it’s a slow time for sports, the summer, it always is. And I accept the fact that news is news and more significantly, this news does involve athletes. Fine ESPN. Put it out there. Remind us of how atrocious our civilization is. But please, oh please, not under the bleeping headlines of your website and not under the bleeping LEAD of your television station.

Rather, install a section entitled: “we must make money” and place these journalistic necessities under such.

Dear worldwide leader in sports, if you insist in altering the “S” in ESPN from sports to scofflaws, then here are some revisions that may assist in further developing your new image:

Sportscenter to Convictcenter.

Jim Rome is Burning to Jim Rome is in the
Courthouse.

Around the Horn to Around the Federal Penitentiary.

Sounds pretty entertaining actually…but not, I repeat not, for a sports network.

Dude, head CEO man (I refuse to waste my efforts in researching your name or title), change it up.

At precisely 12:32 pm on Tuesday, June 16, 2009: ESPN offered courtTV-esque stories as five of its top six headlines (on their website). And the singular headline that differentiates itself from the rest: Brett Favre (but with all of his deception and betrayal, he fits the bill). At least your consistent, ESPN.

Shall we go through the headlines one by one? We shall: (Reminder: This is just in one day. ESPN perpetually does this.)

1. “Stallworth gets 30 days in jail in DUI fatality”

2. (The Lying Wrangler)

3. “Leaf faces Thursday deadline to turn himself in”

4. “NASCAR says Mayfield expert lied about degree”

5. “Phelps gets first endorsement since scandal”

6. “Burress hearing delayed to Sept. 23″

Get it? Got it? Good. Because I don’t get it.

Ryan Leaf? Really? My youngest brother’s JV summer basketball practices are more relevant.
At least he plays.

Poor Michael Phelps. ESPN, Do you really need to continue to bring the kid down? So, he smoked pot. George Washington used to grow fields upon fields of it.

Plaxico Burress shot himself. He shot himself. That should be on Comedy Central, not ESPN.

Indeed, as I previously confirmed, ESPN, the supposed worldwide leader in sports, does have the journalistic responsibility to entertain these topics. But not as main headlines.

Italy rallies to defeat U.S. by a score of 3-1 in the FIFA Confederations Cup; As New Jersey-born (traitor) Giuseppe Rossi scores two goals.

Manny Pacquiao (49-3) (the Philippine Elvis, who is singlehandedly bringing back the sport of boxing) is set to fight Miguel Cotto (34-1) (who is coming off a split-decision victory over Joshua Clottey (35-3)) on November 14 in Las Vegas.

Now those are headlines. True sports headlines.

And if those are not to your liking, ESPN, then provide MLB scores and MLS scores and NASCAR standings and Tennis rankings as your headlines.

Yes, ESPN does acknowledge such information, although assigns them to purgatory deeply within the confines of the cyber underworld; rather than accrediting them to, oh I don’t know, the headlines!

C’mon, ESPN? Don’t you have anyone, anyone within your staff who could figure all this out? Thanks to The Sports Complainer, you now know this.

People who watch ESPN are sports fans, not court fans. If they were, they’d tune in to Judge Judy.

And granted, some individuals do enjoy the drama, but that’s what E! is for.

ESPN and accompanying suits, you are ruining sports. Please, I’m asking you nicely to stop slaying what our world loves.

Our society watches sports to forget about the disorderly distress that life brings forth. To forget about the pink slips and the shrinking paychecks (economy). To forget about the right-wing crazies and the suicide bombers (terrorism). To forget about the continuously escalating fuel prices (energy crisis). To forget about the insane world leaders with powerful toys (nuclear threats). They tune in to clear their minds of such pandemonium, not to convolute their minds with more brouhaha, especially irrelevant brouhaha.

Open your eyes ESPN, realize this. Realize that this society follows sports with their hearts, with their souls, with an expectation that sports will make them feel better about the world around them. And ESPN, you’re ruining that. You really are.

Print making techniques are vehicles which the artist may select and combine according to the circumstances of working opportunity. The lightest of touches and the most discriminating of choices enable the easy transfer of an event carried within to an impression left behind.

Printmakers are often scavengers, hobbyists, inventors collaging together patchworks of process and materials originating in other desires.

An English manufacturer, Frederick Walton, patented linoleum as a flooring material in 1863. Linseed oil exposed to the air in a succession of thin films can be ground, mixed with pulverised wood or cork, applied to a sacking foundation and rolled smooth.The 1950’s abounded in lino, in condition from smooth, dense and luxurious to shiny brittle and cracked. It is this changing nature, this responsiveness that makes it a good material for a technique emphasising spontaneity.

Though, according to Alisa Bunbury, Gauguin used the technique in 1899 it most probably percolated out from poster makers into the art stream in the 1930’s exploding out with Picasso in 1959.

Reduction block is just what it says, the block of lino which forms the substrate is reduced in working area each time it is cut into for a colour.

The implications are significant – I take my piece of lino, make a cut, ink it and know that I have to decide how many the edition will be from the start – there can be absolutely no doubt about the integrity of the edition size by this method because the block is destroyed in the process.

In 1982 looking for a cheap non-institutional way to make prints I received an eloquent description of the method but no demonstration.

There was something about the twisting somersault my mind made to grasp the process that made me sense it would be the way for me to break into printmaking.

Working without any preliminary sketches but simply an interest in what would emerge my first decision would be what size or shape the block should be – this was essentially an emotional decision to do with the gestalt of my working day.

In the beginning I didn’t like to work bigger than the radius of my arm since for registration I would push two drawing pins through from the back of the block – locate the top edge of the paper on them by pushing each corner onto a pin whilst the paper was held off the inked block by one corner in my mouth.

Later I made larger than me prints by suspending one end of the paper on a sort of block and tackle. I found it is the varied dance out of which the print emerges that helps keep the ideas fluid.

A print is a trace of an action, or the cumulative effect of superimposed actions – my images were generated by a sequence of carvings, cuttings, gougings and scratchings.

My lino came in stimulatingly unmanageable rolls from Forbo-Nairn in Kirkcaldy. The greater the thickness of the lino then the more variation you can get in the width of the line as you cut, or surf, with the “V” shaped cutter. I found that I mainly used that and the broad cutter of the five or six I had.

The lino changed its quality according to temperature – the line smooth and sinuous if warm or jagged and hairy if cold. I found marking of the surface, (even wire wool can register) took me back with fatal delight to my brown school desk and semi-conscious compass point channelings.

I liked the sudden death tension of the limited number of cuts to resolve an adventure begun maybe with one or two dots. Also the complexity of the figure/ground relationships in that at each cut one was either defining an “island” to be printed in the next colour or a “keyhole” through which a motif in the previous colour would remain.

The cutting process is interrupted intuitively to lay the next colour, thus the image is built by layers of colour masks, or veils.

Wanting at the time to be mobile and able to work from a suitcase, I decided not to use a press; this introduced another channel for mark making since the action of impressing was by drawing and rubbing on the back of the paper as it lay on the inked block – I found it simplest to work on the floor or a very low table. I used a variety of implements including rollers, traditional barrens, the smooth wooden backs of handles, a gold leaf boner and so on – hands, nails, feet.

I am a messy worker and I wanted speed so I chose at the start to use water based inks at first ready made in little tins and later, when I was selling, mixing bought pigment with a gum Arabic binder.

At that time you could get the binder from T.N.Lawrence, it came in great tubs of luscious amber goo. How wet one worked determined the blending between layers and hence the visible colour. Five or six colours at most could go down before the paper cried out or gave up.

Sekishu Shi, Wenju Tak, Gampi, Asian papers would float in by post to Hebden Bridge, the Yorkshire mill town where the Holdsworth Gallery sold my first linoprints in 1982.

I kept my editions down to under ten, quite often just two or three – for my adventure was to get onto the next image.

I did nothing else for nine years so absorbed was I by the interplay between a basically simple technique and the subtleties it was capable of carrying.

“Oh gosh, I never would have thought they were linocuts” was a common reaction, so I tried to spread the use of the term linoprints. Lino remains in my luggage.

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